16
Certain things are way more interesting to do than they are to watch. Especially when the person I was watching do them was wearing my body.
Madeline had been dead for three years. When it came to the physical world, she had a lot of catching up to do.
And Dan? Well, the good news is that he might love Madeline to the grave and beyond, but he liked me. I mean, he really, really liked me. He showed it in lots of different and interesting ways.
The bad news was that now that Dan had gotten over his shyness, he had a lot of catching up to do, too.
And me? I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, my fingers in my ears, so freaking panicked, I couldn’t think straight.
The next morning when Madeline and Dan came in to shower (together), I ducked back into the room. Even with a change of scenery and the sounds of running water drowning out (mostly) the moans and the groans coming from in there, I didn’t feel any better.
I paced and worried. I paced and cried. I paced and screamed every swear word I could think of (and a few I made up on the spot), and I didn’t have to care that I might be causing a commotion.
No one could hear me.
Tears welled in my eyes again, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Heck, why should I? No one could see me, either.
“So, how does it feel?”
OK, I wasn’t exactly accurate about the no-one-could-see-me. Madeline could. Done doing what she’d been doing, she was wrapped in a paper-thin towel that scarcely covered her breasts (my breasts!). She sauntered into the room with a smile on her face that was as bright as the song Dan was humming in the shower. I think it was a Broadway show tune.
“Now you know how I’ve felt these past years,” she said. “You’re invisible.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” I raised my chin and looked into eyes that used to be mine and a face that just yesterday had looked back at me from the mirror. It was weird. “You’ve had your fun.” I didn’t need to elaborate. She knew exactly what I was talking about, and to prove it, she grinned and purred and stretched like a contented cat. “Now give me back my body.”
“My body.” The voice was mine, but the attitude—and the sarcasm—was all Madeline. “Once a narcissist, always a narcissist. I’ve got news for you, Pepper. My body.” She poked her finger at her chest (my—well, there’s no use dwelling). “My hair.” She tugged on it. “My clothes.” She looked down to where they were tossed on the floor just as Dan switched to something that sounded like opera. He didn’t have a bad voice.
Madeline paused for a moment to listen. “My Danny,” she said.
“And you think I’m the narcissist?” Since I didn’t have to worry about my image, I snorted to emphasize my point. So tacky, but it helped me sound tough, and tough was exactly what I needed. Without the tough, I’d be a basket case. “Get over it, girlfriend. You’re dead. And when you died, the world didn’t stop spinning. Life goes on. Without you.”
“Without you.” Madeline giggled. Even coming out of my mouth, it was not a pretty sound. “Don’t you get it? I arranged this whole thing just so I could get your body.”
“How—?”
Apparently, my question wasn’t even worth listening to. Not in Madeline’s opinion, anyway. “Hilton was so obsessed with this whole ghost, paranormal thing. He made me do hours and hours of research. It’s amazing what you can learn in some of those dusty, old books of his. Séances, shape-shifting, time travel, spirit possession of a live body when the stars and the moon are aligned just right . . . I never believed any of it, but hey, I’m a researcher, remember. I figured it was worth a try. I was waiting for the right test subject to come along. According to that book of Hilton’s, my live subject—you—had to make love to the one person—Danny—who was still in love with the person who passed on—me. I set this whole thing up like an experiment. You fell for it. And it worked.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I swallowed hard. “Then the people at the hospital, the ones in Doctor Gerard’s study. They aren’t—”
“Missing? Sure they are.” Madeline dismissed the information with a wave of one hand. “The point is, who cares?”
“You do. At least you said you did.”
“I told you Danny was involved, too. I thought that was a nice touch. He’s got that whole cute-as-a-button thing going for him. And the broken heart shtick, too, of course. Most women can’t resist. I figured you were no different. He has to get on with his life. He needs to find a woman who will love him as much as I did.” When she spoke these last two sentences, she pressed her hands to her heart. She sounded like her old self. Except for the cackle of a laugh at the end. “I’ve proved it again. I’m smarter than you. I came up with a great way to sucker you in.”
No way I could get beyond the desperation that ate away at my composure, but still, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief. “So Dan isn’t really in trouble?”
Madeline shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“Shouldn’t it?”
Another shrug. The towel that was all she was wearing came loose, and Madeline tossed it aside and went to stand in front of the mirror. She turned this way and that, assessing her new body. “Not bad,” she decided. “With this body and my brains, I’ll go a long way. I can’t believe you didn’t think of it, or maybe you did, but without the smarts to carry it off, you just weren’t very good at it. What do you think? Can I sleep my way to the top?”
“Sleep? Top? Top of what?”
“A hospital research program. A university psychology department. What’s the difference? I’m not all that particular.” Madeline grabbed the thong that had landed on the dresser when Dan and I ripped off our clothes. She stepped into it and made a face. “I’ve got to go out and get myself some real clothes.”
“Real? Like . . .” Why this hadn’t occurred to me before, I don’t know, but I glanced down at my own fuddy-duddy outfit. My long black skirt had an elastic waistband, and I plucked it away from my stomach and took a peek.
White cotton briefs!
If I wasn’t already invisible, I would have died from embarrassment. “You’ve got to be kidding. You don’t really expect me to wear this?”
“Personally, I don’t care what you wear. I don’t care about you at all.” Madeline reached for my jeans and slipped them on. She put on my bra and my sweater. The ripped sleeve didn’t seem to bother her. The fit, though, did. She squirmed. “Your boobs are too big. They make me feel top-heavy. Maybe I’ll get a reduction.”
“You wouldn’t dare, you no-good, sneaky—”
“Ah, is that a little bit of jealousy I hear?” Dressed now, Madeline peered into the mirror and ran her fingers through her curls. She tugged at a ringlet and made a face. “This has got to go. Too high maintenance. I’m thinking a nice, short cut. Wash and wear. It will give me more time for—”
“What?” I crossed my arms over my chest, holding in my temper and my panic. “You want to give yourself more time in the shower with Dan?”
“You think that’s what this is about? You’re dumber than I thought.” She looked toward the bathroom. “He’s a sweet guy. Really. And so enthusiastic when it comes to . . . well, I guess you noticed, right? It’s just that . . .”
My temper dissolved beneath a wave of nausea. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Force of habit; even though I knew Dan couldn’t hear me, I lowered my voice. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting his feelings. “Are you telling me—”
“What, that I don’t give a damn about Danny?” Finished preening, Madeline spun and leaned against the dresser. Since I was standing directly opposite her, I could see us both at the same time. Looking at the physical me standing in front of the dresser and the essence of me in the mirror was too weird for words.
Maybe Madeline realized it. Maybe that’s why she smiled.
“How can you think that I don’t care about sweet Danny?” Her smile inched up. “He’s obviously good for a few things. But then, I guess you noticed that, too.”
The sourness in my stomach shot up into my throat. “That’s not the way a wife should talk about the man who’s carried a torch for her for three long years. He loves you.”
“He loves a memory.”
“Which has to be based in fact.” A new thought struck, and if I wasn’t afraid that my hand would whoosh right through my head, I would have slapped my forehead. “Not much fact, right? You put on a show for Dan. You pretended to be someone you weren’t. Just so he would marry you. Now all he remembers is the warm and fuzzy stuff, and he’s spent three years of his life missing a woman who never really existed. He doesn’t know that you’re really a bitch.”
“You think so?” My purse was on the dresser. Completely unconcerned about my criticism, Madeline opened the purse, plucked out a tube of “Paris Nights,” swiveled it open, and made a face. “Isn’t this color a little obvious?”
“Isn’t that the whole point of wearing lipstick? And beauty tips aren’t what we were talking about. We were talking about Dan.”
“And I said he was a sweet guy.” Madeline tossed my practically new tube of lipstick in a nearby trash can. She followed it up with my blusher, my mascara, my eyeliner, and the Missoni Parfum Rollerball I’d paid too much for and never regretted. “If you had more self-confidence, you wouldn’t need all these things to shore up your ego.”
“I thought I was a narcissist. That means I don’t need anything to shore up my ego. I’ve got ego to spare.”
“And you hide behind cosmetics.” Madeline shook her head sadly. “That ends today. From now on, the world sees the real me.”
“The real me, you mean.”
She slid me a look. “Not anymore. You’re not dead, Pepper. But you’re not alive, either. That means you don’t belong in this world or the other one. And that means you can’t stay. You’re going to fade and then poof!” She snapped her fingers. “Disappear completely. Then I’ll never have to worry about you again.”
The nausea intensified. I hugged my arms around myself. I’d go crazy if I thought about what she said, so I concentrated on the problem at hand. “Did you ever love Dan?”
“Love is a fickle emotion. It can’t be quantified.”
“Most people don’t want to quantify it.”
“Most people are morons.”
“Is Dan?”
She glanced toward the bathroom just as Dan shut off the water, and when she answered me, she made sure he couldn’t hear. “He was a brilliant student. I knew he’d be successful someday. He’s Nobel Prize material.”
“So you hitched your wagon to his star.”
“It would have worked. If I hadn’t died.”
“The mugging. Is that story bullshit, too? Maybe you just made it up so I’d feel sorry for you.”
She had already opened her mouth to respond when Dan stepped out of the bathroom. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, and I had a chance to admire a body I hadn’t had nearly enough time to check out the night before. Nice shoulders, abs that were too well developed to belong to a brain researcher, a chest that wasn’t nearly as broad as Quinn’s, but just as yummy. I winced when I saw the red welt I’d caused when I bashed him with that stool back at the mental hospital, but apparently Dan didn’t hold it against me. Or at least he didn’t hold it against the me he thought was me. There was a glimmer in his eyes and an expectant expression on his face. Both dissolved when he saw that the woman he knew as Pepper was already dressed. “You’re all set to go. I thought we could—”
“We have a long day ahead of us.”
He gave in with the kind of accommodating smile I’d always wanted from him and never got. “You’re right, of course. And we’ll have plenty of time later for . . .” Hot under the sheets and as shy as a violet when it was all over. I wasn’t surprised when Dan blushed. He reached for his clothes, and damn, he turned his back on me when he dropped the towel and put on his boxers. He slipped his jeans on, too, and turned around again just as he was zipping them. “Before we leave, I want to make sure I have my story straight. Let’s go over the details. What do you know about the clinic, Pepper, and how did you find it out?”
All right, I admit it... I gloated more than just a little when I saw the blank expression on Madeline’s face and realized she couldn’t answer any of his question. She might have my body, but the bitch didn’t get my memories.
That’s why she tried to buy some time when she said, “Well, as you know, I’m not very bright . . .”
“Oh, puh-leez!” Needless to say, this comment came from me.
Just as needless to point out, Madeline ignored it. She went right on.
“But I was able to put two and two together. About the ghosts, I mean. That’s why I went to the clinic in the first place, to talk to Hilton about ghosts.”
Dan’s eyes gleamed. “You really do communicate with the dead. You’ve seen Maddy. You’ve talked to her!”
Sensitive guy that he is, Dan realized talking about his dead wife might not be the politically correct thing to do when the sheets were still hot. He scrambled for an apology that Madeline didn’t give him time to deliver.
“It’s OK.” Her voice more cloying than mine had ever been, she closed in on him. “I understand, Danny, I really do. From everything I’ve heard about her, I know Madeline was a truly remarkable woman.” How she got this out without gagging, I don’t know, and just so she didn’t think she was getting away with anything, I opened my mouth, poked a finger toward my throat, and made a choking sound. She shot me a look before she turned her attention back to Dan.
“From everything I’ve heard about her . . .” She took Dan’s hands in hers. “I know she was kind and giving and caring. I understand how impossible it must be for you to forget her. Just as I understand that what we had here . . . well, sex is just sex, isn’t it? And a man has needs. I’m a realist, I never thought it was any more than that. Don’t worry, Danny, I’m not expecting more from you in the way of commitment or caring.”
“You’re not?” Dan looked at Madeline closely. “I never thought you were—”
“That understanding? Oh please, darling!” She briefly skimmed a finger along his cheek before she headed over to the mirror to check her hair.
And watching her, Dan whispered below his breath. “That shallow.”
“See?” I followed Madeline and pointed back toward where Dan stood watching her, his eyes narrowed. “Did you hear that? He expected more from me than wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. He knows I’m not that much of a loser.”
Madeline stopped in her tracks. When she turned back to Dan, she had a smile firmly in place. “I hope you don’t think I’m that much of a loser.” I wondered how she’d learned so quickly to turn on the waterworks at just the right time. A single tear slipped down her cheek, and she sniffed. “I just want you to know that I understand how I could never take Madeline’s place in your heart. I’ve come to grips with that. I’m at peace with it. She was your soul mate. I can never be half the woman she was.”
Dan drew in a breath. “You’re right, of course. I mean, about the soul mate thing, not about how I feel about you.” He waited for her to smile before he glanced at the bed and continued. “I never would have . . . I mean, we never would have . . . I mean, what happened last night, it never would have happened if I didn’t have feelings for you.”
“I knew it!” I punched a fist in the air.
Madeline pretended not to hear me. “That’s so sweet.” She kissed Dan’s cheek, and in the kind of blatant attempt at flattery I had never needed and never would have stooped to, she touched a hand to his sleeve and batted her eyelashes before she grabbed the coat I’d worn into the room the night before. “Now let’s get back to Chicago.”
For a second, Dan stared at her. When she just twinkled back (it was not a pretty picture), he waved a hand in front of her face. “It’s the drugs, right? That’s got to be it. Have you forgotten what you said last night? You wanted to call the cops. You wanted to march back to that hospital yourself. Last night you said—”
“Of course!” Not a chance Madeline had any idea what he was talking about; she hadn’t been in the room when Dan and I discussed going to the authorities the night before. Still, she recovered in a heartbeat and covered even faster. “I would have said that! I’m such a feisty thing. That’s why they call me Pepper, you know.” She was going for a brilliant smile. Instead, it looked as if she’d bitten into a lemon. Hell, I could have done better, and I was incorporeal. “It’s this crazy, peppery personality of mine.”
I rolled my eyes.
Madeline looked the other way.
Dan just looked confused.
He put on his shirt and pulled a bulky Aran knit sweater over his head. “I told you I wanted to talk to Hilton this morning,” he explained, giving her the benefit of the doubt (which he shouldn’t have done since she was a lying sack of crap, but of course, he didn’t know that). He grabbed his own lightweight jacket and slipped it on. “And you said you had a list of the names of the missing patients. It would really help me to have that kind of ammunition when I talk to him. You’ve got it with you?”
Pardon me for pointing out that I had another chance to gloat. Madeline was shocked to hear about the list. Oh yeah, I could tell she was plenty surprised, all right. But once a liar, always a liar, and she went right on pulling the wool over Dan’s eyes. She patted down her pockets. “Silly me, I left the list back at the hotel. But let’s not worry about that. What we really need to do, Danny honey, is get out of here. Fast.”
As if it could help him better see the logic of her argument, he slipped on his glasses. “So last night you wanted to go after Hilton with both barrels, and today you want to forget the whole thing? Those drugs have really messed up your mind. I’m going to get over to the hospital. And you—”
“No way in hell you’re leaving here without me.” I’d stepped forward and voiced my opinion before I had a chance to think, and the next second, I cursed myself. I should have let Madeline hang out to dry. This way, she knew exactly what she should say. Never one to let an opportunity pass, she threw back her shoulders and lifted her chin.
“I’m going with you to talk to Hilton,” she said.
“That’s my girl. I knew you would.” Dan gave her a kiss. When he was done, he looked at her hard. “Are you all right?” he asked.
Madeline being Madeline, she couldn’t imagine that she wasn’t always all right. She wrinkled her nose and tipped her head. “All right? Why wouldn’t I be?”
He stepped back. “I dunno. It’s just that . . .” Uncomfortable, he laughed. “It just feels different, kissing you now than it did kissing you last night. It’s as if you’ve changed.”
Madeline smiled. She wrapped an arm through his. “Of course I’m not the same,” she said. “Everything’s different today. Everything’s changed, Danny.”
It was enough to satisfy him, and really, how could I blame him for giving in so easily? Dan might be into the whole woo-woo scene, but something told me even he couldn’t imagine the body-changing scenario that had played out right in front of his eyes.
This time when he laughed, it was without reservations. “You’re right.” He wrapped an arm around Madeline’s shoulders. “Everything has changed. It’s like the world has opened up for me again. And you know what’s weird, Pepper, it’s like Madeline had something to do with it all.” Dan went around the room, turning out lights and tossing our McDonald’s bags. “Wherever Madeline is,” he said, “I finally know she’s at peace. See, you may not realize it, but you used his first name. Hilton Gerard’s. You didn’t call him Doctor Gerard, you called him Hilton, just like Madeline always did. And you called me Danny. Even my mom never did that. Madeline was the one and only person who ever called me Danny.”
Oblivious to the truth staring him in the face, Dan unlocked the door and stepped into the frigid morning sunshine. “Before we get over to the hospital, we should probably stop somewhere so you can replace that ripped sweater of yours.”
Madeline followed Dan outside. “That will be fine.”
He headed over to the car. “I’m afraid the only close store is a Wal-Mart,” he said, an apology in his voice.
Madeline nodded. “Like I said, that’s fine.”
“Fine?” Laughing, Dan stopped just as he was about to open the car door. “Boy, you weren’t kidding when you said you changed last night. No way the Pepper Martin I know would agree to go clothes shopping at Wal-Mart.”
He was still laughing when he held the door open for Madeline and she got into the car.
Me? I wasn’t laughing at all. Firmly ignoring the pissed look on Madeline’s face, I climbed into the backseat.
Wal-Mart or no Wal-Mart, I’d be damned if they were going anywhere without me.

Night of the Loving Dead
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